How to know yourself better

What is that cookie going to do for you? 

Do you really know yourself better than anyone else? When you eagerly reach for that bottle of wine or Bailey’s Irish Cream, what is it that you are truly craving?

When you spend hours racing around thinking of the things you need to do or acquire, what is really going on?

“Know Thyself”, Socrates advised us.  What does this mean?  

Does it mean that we should become more aware of our own strengths—and connect with the incredible tapped and untapped potential within ourselves?  

I believe it does...

notice and stay aware to Know Yourself better...

It is equally wise to begin to notice and stay aware of our own weaknesses—the traps we create for ourselves and fall into over and over again...

This can be the difficult part...

Actually seeing our “flaws” may not be that much of a challenge.

However, regarding them with compassion and understanding and finding the need we are trying to fulfill with our unproductive behavior while at the same time maintaining the steadfast commitment to improving on these “weaknesses” requires a lot of courage and energy.

It’s one thing to say I am impatient with this diet so I’m just going to binge on these cookies...

It’s another thing to really sit with the FEELING of being impatient – feeling the constriction in our muscles and the angst and to offer ourselves deep mercy for that unpleasant aspect of our own life.  

Rather than acting on that pain, by layering it with an action that is ultimately going to cause us more pain—like binging—or judging ourselves harshly...

This takes faith because we may not encounter the goodness within that we are searching for in that exact moment...

When we sit with impatience, we may feel as if the door to a dark void is being opened.  

This is because as human beings there is dark energy—negativity—that is simply an inherent part of our makeup...

When we realize and acknowledge this without judging ourselves for it, it can be a great relief.

The darkness or the bad mood is just there...

We don’t have to change it or fix it, nor do we have to act from it...

If we find that we have already inadvertently, automatically acted from it, we can make amends for that and make a decision to discontinue being guided by our lower nature in the next moment.

We may discover that before we’ve even had a chance to gain awareness of our mood, we’ve swallowed that donut, or blurted out something we regret...

The dark energy that we often want to run from is actually a blessing because it humbles us. No matter who we are or what we have accomplished, we are not exempt from feeling the pain that is a part of life.  

To know yourself better you have to understand that No amount of food, alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, shopping, or work will take this pain away permanently and all of those distractions, in excess, will cause a tremendous increase in our level of pain, ultimately.

The beauty is that a cycle of healing is available to us when we go towards and ultimately beyond the pain and not away from it...

When we realize that our own human thinking has gotten us into the mess we are in whether that is in an overweight condition, struggling with an illness, finding ourselves in an unsatisfactory relationship with our children, spouse, or parents, or dealing with a failed business venture, we then can finally connect to the only power that can turn our lives around towards the peace, love, and safety we have always craved.

You may object to the idea that you got yourself into the situation that you are in...

But I’m asking you to look at this possibility WITHOUT any blame or guilt, realizing that we are energetic beings vibrating and attracting to ourselves experiences that match that vibration.  

So,

If we notice that we have had the perspective of being a victim of life and then get consumed with shame about it, then we still have missed the jewel that awaits us:

the gift of growth that is available in each circumstance.

Although we are energetic beings who are susceptible to the dark force of emotional pain, we also have within our reach the highest force for goodness, love, and light. radiance and brilliance available to us in each moment.

The catch is that in order to REALLY receive the transmissions of wisdom and beauty that this higher realm wants to make available to us, we must surrender our attachment to the lower realm.  

The challenge with that is the world of conflict often seems so compelling and inviting that we may not truly want to relinquish its hold on us.

There is nothing intrinsically wrong with or bad about us.

The challenges in our lives are not evidence that we, or others, are flawed.

The difficulties in our lives force us to take a break from the place most of us live the majority of our time—in our mental thoughts, justifying our beliefs—and travel beyond emotion to a realm of Truth, Strength, Love, and Connection.  

Stay Down and Elevate Your Energy

When pain strikes us down, we can take some time to stay down, rather than rushing to pull ourselves up and out of the pain with food, alcohol, conversation, or our work.  

From this low place, we can actually put our own body in a pose of supplication and humble ourselves.

Without blame or shame, we can look at our part in the situation...

Perhaps we may have one of the following realizations.

The gift in difficulty is that it often forces us to take an assessment of the big picture of our lives.

At the same time, we can realize that there is no single cause for any event in our lives and that life happens regardless of our thoughts, feelings or actions. 

In other words, we don’t have to feel as if it’s our fault that things are as they are.

However, we give ourselves a gift by looking at the role we did play and focusing on the change for the better that we can make within ourselves.

This requires both faith and patience...

When we find ourselves in pain, and turn our whole being towards our spiritual self, our soul, or God, we must realize that if we could have done it differently, we would have and that is why we need help.

to know yourself better look at the other side of the coin...

This is the flip side of the darkness that we have been experiencing. We now awaken to the fact that our pain has not been senseless, nor for the reason our ego/mind assumed.  

It wasn’t because so and so was a jerk...

That may appear to be a valid assessment from our human perspective, but from the higher standpoint, so and so is playing a role in showing us perhaps an exaggerated version of the human qualities in him, in me, and in you.

From our reactions to those qualities, we are able to see the “flaws” within ourselves. 

If we choose not to cover up these reactions and personal weaknesses with food, liquor, drugs, computer, or TV addiction, we are given the opportunity to completely humble ourselves.  

This is a chance to surrender to the Highest Light of the Universe, the Higher Self—or God if you are comfortable with that terminology, and say with the utmost sincerity, completely bowed, “I need you.  Without you, I am stuck in a world of illusion and darkness.”

It is then that the heavens truly open and we are flooded with intelligence...

Truth begins to dawn on us from a place far beyond the intellect and we can experience—not theorize about—the amazing beauty and vastness of life.  

When we embrace the incredible courage and humility necessary to admit the extent to which our own separate ego self can distort the truth, we can finally relax in the peace and safety we are seeking.

What a relief...

We don’t have to be perfect or good...

When we stay connected to our core—beyond any painful circumstances in our lives—we are simply guided to take the actions that support our own growth and since we are all connected—the growth of others.

How humbling it is to realize that it is only by surrendering to the Highest Power within ourselves and in the Universe—the Great Intelligence beyond the human conscious mind—that we can transcend our discomfort and serve ourselves and humanity.

Pain is the great equalizer...

No one is exempt from it...

We all mirror that fact to each other...and that one of the best ways that you cam know yourself better...

Each of us is tempted to escape, deny, or run from pain in our own way—whether it’s through food, drink, spacing out, or staying compulsively busy...

How comforting to know that no matter who you are or what you’ve done or haven’t done . . .  

no matter how old or young you are or what mistakes you’ve made, nothing can stop you, in this moment, from surrendering to your own heart and coming home.